Well, I posted this on my facebook, so it's only fair that I post it here...and maybe include a little extra! ;)
Warning: Explicit Language
“Sweet baby Jesus, thank God you’re here. I’m freaking starving. My stomach is literally eating itself.”
As my mom approached the table she rolled her eyes and lifted one corner of her mouth into a smirk. “You always did have a flair for the dramatic.”
“Hello Kettle,” I mumbled under my breath which, unsurprisingly, earned me a little smack to the back of my head.
Rubbing my hand on the surely formed lump, I grumbled, “Ouch, that’s child abuse.”
Okay, so she didn’t actually hit me hard at all, and there most definitely wasn’t a lump.
Conclusion: I was dramatic. But so was she.
I watched as she burst out laughing and took several seconds to get herself under control. When she finally settled back down she made sure to point out, “Honey, you have never seen abuse, and you are hardly a child anymore. Now get over yourself.”
“Alright, fine. I can’t help it. You know I get cranky when I’m hungry.”
My mood had always been largely dictated by the state of my stomach. Don’t get me wrong, I was always snarky, but I became significantly more snarky when food deprivation was involved.
Luckily, if anyone knew me, it was my mama, so she just nodded her head in understanding for a second before I continued with my real problem. “Plus, I had another horrible date last night. I don’t understand. I know guys aren’t perfect, but it’s getting ridiculous at this point. This guy called his mother six times while we were at dinner. Six. Cut the fucking cord already.”
*Unedited, subject to revision, work in progress, etc.